The psychology behind – ‘ I don’t love it anymore the way I used to love it ‘

Hi ! This is Derick here  ! I hope you are having a good time !

Babu was a very good looking 28 year old girl who was on the peak of her career. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it ! Babu had everything her family ever wanted; be it house, car, etc, etc. But she missed 1 most important thing. She had an insatiable urge for having a life partner ! She was all set and ready to make the best decision she had ever made. It was her dream since she was 8 years old in order to have the most handsome prince who would change her life forever ! Her father motivated her to do some research and learn something about marriage. So, like most people she went to her best friend…. ( Google). She read a lot of articles about marriages and it’s implications. But she got very upset when Mr. Google suggested her something as below.

She was upset looking at such an irritating suggestion from the world’s most renowned search engine. However, Mr. Google couldn’t stop her from tying the knot !

She was clear of what she wanted and she knew how to get it

Before she could go any further, she heard loud screaming and squealing noises coming from her neighbor’s house. It turned out that her neighbor’s 3 year old daughter whose name also turns out to be ‘ Babu ‘ was screaming and refusing to eat her meal. She demanded her mother to buy her the doll which she had seen in the market ! No matter how much her mother refused;  she begged from her mother to get her that doll. This entire scenario went on till 2 am. 

Later on her mother went to the market and bought her the doll. The little child was amazed by the advent of her much awaited and much acclaimed doll ! Her happiness and pride knew no bounds and Babu felt like the luckiest girl ever born ! She named her doll Jo-Jo

After a few days, when her mother was sweeping the floor, she found Jo-Jo fallen below the deepest depths of the house like a broken bird ! But Jo-Jo was not alone ! There was teddy, pony, harry and Larry ! all fallen apart ; soaked with mud and dust !

Little Babu was no longer in love with any of her dolls. 

Her mother was quite upset with her little child, thinking about how she had screamed and made a fuss about all of the toys that she wanted. But she isn’t paying attention to any of them anymore.

Do you think there is any similarity between the little Babu and the older Babu ??  Not sure ?  Keep reading until you get the shock of your life !

Later on within a few months, our older Babu got married to the ‘Baba of her dreams ‘. She invested almost all her savings to get the most expensive invitation cards, wedding reception and so on. It was the most memorable day when her biggest dream came true ! She left no loop holes in getting the best wedding she could ever get !

Babu didn’t just spend her money but she sacrificed a lot of her identity as a woman

She made all kinds of sacrifices for her partner and didn’t let her success ego come in between her marriage. She loved her husband and became the best wife that a man could get !

But sadly, after a few months her condition was similar to any marriage related Whatsapp jokes that you would have probably read. She was bored as hell. She could’t feel the spice in her marriage that she used to feel on day 1. All qualities that she had thought of in a husband was present and available for her but she was still not able to identify the cause of the boredom !

She tried to bring back the spice in her pickle but little did she know that the salt in her pickle had already lost it’s saltiness

Here is something I want you to focus on :

It has been scientifically proven that a human being will stop feeling ecstatic the moment he or she is able to achieve something that he or she has always wanted

For example, if you always wanted  something as a child. You will feel very happy on the day you buy it. ( It is the day when you ask people to click pictures of you with it ). But the next day you would not feel as happy about it as the day when you had bought it.

Remember the little child Babu who loved her doll when it was away from her but the moment she achieved it, she could no longer loved it.

As long as the doll was part of her mind ( before she bought it ) ; she loved it. The moment Jo-Jo became a part of her body ( after she bought it) ; she couldn’t love it anymore

A similar but much stronger psychological effect was felt by the older woman.

As long as the prince of her dreams was a part of her mind for 20 years (away from her), she loved it. The moment he became a part of her body ; she couldn’t feel attracted to him anymore.

This phenomenon is true not only for toys or marriages but many other stuff as well. But nobody is really bothered to educate people about it.

What about the new gym that you so much wanted to go ! But now for some reasons you just don’t feel like going anymore.

What about the new dream bike that you had bought only to realize that it wasn’t really what you wanted.

What about the new guitar that you had bought thinking that it will get the girl or guy you want. Turns out that after sometime both are of no use !

What about the professional course for which you had prepared for right from your pre-primary and high school thinking that it would make into a great career. But then you realize that you are no longer interested in it.

As long as there is a separation with a difference, there is an attraction. This phenomenon is widely seen in nature as well.

For example :- Certain chemical reactions take place only when there is a difference in charge or they just wouldn’t occur. There is a flow of current only when there is a difference in electric potential.

It doesn’t mean that you should not marry or not do the things that you love. But you must know the basic human behavior that you will have to deal with.

It is absolutely normal to lose attraction and/or love. But people are going in search of many schemes to avoid this kind of feeling of losing love.


Derick Soans
He is an Aspiring Entrepreneur from Mumbai, India. He is also a Speaker, Blogger and an Electrical Engineer. He blogs about Technology, Employability and Psychology at classbunker and aims at encouraging people to find their life’s purpose via blogging.

4 thoughts on “The psychology behind – ‘ I don’t love it anymore the way I used to love it ‘

  1. Excellent topic choosen. Very unique. Truly loved it and the examples were just perfect. Chemical reaction, potential difference (engineer coming out). Thanks a lot bro. Keep it up and proud of you.

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